Hello ladies, let me take a moment to express an aspiration and a prayer that I have for humanity. I hope you don’t take this missive as a criticism but more of an encouragement of sorts from a person who has no place judging anyone—I am guilty as the next when it comes to what I am writing below.
Maybe it’s just me, maybe I’m just aging and becoming more conservative (not in the political sense) and old school with each successive year. But I look around me and I swear it feels like our society is devolving into the abyss. We are turning into a culture of utter wantonness where the pleasure of the moment trumps patience. Love is being obliterated by a culture of hookups and sex.
Now some might take this frustration as me blaming women for the problems of this world. But in reality I am hoping that women revert back to their essence and save us from this morass we keep sinking in. I understand my father more with each successive year as I reflect at the times when he used to argue with my sister that women should not strive to be equal to men. He used to tell her that women and men are created for different roles and equality is doing nothing more than destroying the duality that is necessary for growth.
Of course back then I was so caught up in chasing modernity that I disregarded everything that my father said and dismissed his beliefs as just obsolete dogma. But hot damn if my father was not right; I’m looking about me and I keep seeing how women are being encouraged to be like us men and in the process losing what it is that made them unique apart from us.
Ladies, why do you want to be us? Your role is more significant than ours. It is us men who are burning this world down with our pride and arrogance; what we need is women’s kindness and patience, not women who are in a quest to be similar to our id and ego. Over generations, if not really since biblical times, we men have turned women’s strengths into a weakness and in the process made your greatest assets into something to be ashamed of.
But why fall into our ignorance and give up what makes you so exceptional. The physical strength of a man is nothing compared to the emotional fortitude that is evident in our better halves. I am ready to go to the emergency room when I get a hangnail yet women endure labor pains and endless aches as they give birth to the future. It is us that should strive to be like you—to be more caring and loving—but the world is steady telling you to invert your light and be more like us men.
This is nonsense, it is men who come from women. It’s women who crack their ribs to give birth to a children—women gave men their rib. He is a derivative of She, the dawn is before the afternoon sun (do a little research on the etymology of the words daughter and son to see why I said that). I can go on and on about how it’s women who are the building blocks of life. Even when it comes to the process of procreation, the task of a man is over after an hour at most. It is the woman who takes our deposit and nurtures our seed in her womb for 9 months and gives life where we just gave droplets.
We emerged from you ladies, so then why are you expending so much energy trying to morph into a facade of us. By nature a man just wants instant gratification. If it was not for women moderating us, we would be no different than the animals on Wild Kingdom. Trust me, I am not preaching to you and I am definitely not judging you. I am speaking from experience; chasing lust after lust does nothing but leave us mired into solitude and regret’s hug.
So make us work, even if there are a thousand giving it up faster than an Arby’s drive through, resist the pull and stand apart. Make us court you and desire you—restore love instead of being encircled by debauchery’s lasso. Stop trying to be like us and love what makes you different. We men have been bragging for ages that we bring home the bacon; who cares, a bacon is just raw slop unless and until a woman applies her tender touch and turns our bounty into nourishment.
Be less like us and embrace your own sinew. It is us that needs you—you are not a commodity you are a necessity for life.
Use your power to change us instead of changing you to have the faux power of us men. If not, we will keep devolving into the muck of depravity. The might of men is burning the world; we need the compassion of women to save us from us. #Memo2She Click To Tweet
Don’t be equal to us; you are better than us—make us measure up to you instead. The world needs your kindness now more than ever; there are enough of us men trying to assuage our egos through false machismo. Show us that the truest form of courage is first inward love that is then manifested outward to the world.
2.21.2019 update: if you ever doubt the power of words and the ability we have to speak things into existence, I wrote this open letter while I was living in a shelter in 2016 on Facebook. This ode to the strength of women opened opened a line of communication between Betty Beke and me, she went on to convince me to stop writing on Facebook and to start my own website.
Ghion Journal would not be possible without Betty’s advice and encouragement, that is why I call me my greatest second. I now call her my wife and the love of my life. Goes to show, the compassion of women is infinitely greater than the hubris of men. This video below is a dedication to Bethlehem…there are things in store for us..let’s just say my future is developing as we speak #yohan
Man’s thundering hubris is nothing compared to a woman’s quiet strength.
Originally from Ethiopia with roots to Atse Tewodros II, Lij Teodrose is a former community organizer whose writing was incorporated into Barack Obama's South Carolina primary victory speech in 2008. He pivoted away from politics and decided to stand for collective justice after experiencing the reality of the forgotten masses. His writing defies conventional wisdom and challenges readers to look outside the constraints of labels and ideologies that serve to splinter the people. Lij Teodrose uses his pen to give a voice to the voiceless and to speak truth to power.
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