Early this morning, in a move that caught many in our nation’s capital off guard, President Joe Biden signed an Executive Order that formally atones for the role America played in enslaving and brutalizing tens of millions of “black” people. During the signing ceremony, Biden acknowledged the horrific legacy of slavery that continues to haunt African-Americans to this day. To make amends, Biden also announced that monthly cash stipends will be sent to the survivors of America’s second holocaust starting in two weeks.
This stunning development promises to cut “black” poverty in half according Columbia University’s esteemed social studies department. By taking this brave step, Biden finally addressed a core issue that many African-Americans hold near and dear to their hearts. After addressing LGBTQ issues on day one and speaking out forcefully to defend Asian-Americans, Biden took one of the boldest steps in the history of the United States that definitively focuses on the pains and plight borne by the Democrat party’s most loyal voting bloc.
NFL legend @BurgessOwens tells Democrats THEY should be paying reparations to black Americans.
I do believe in restitution. Let's point to the party that was part of slavery, KKK, Jim crow, that has killed over 40% of our black babies, 20 million of them.pic.twitter.com/aVtmjBboDF
— Kambree (@KamVTV) June 19, 2019
Reached by phone, Benjamin Dixon—a loyal neo-coon shill who gets paid almost as much as “Brooklyn Dad Defiant” to propagate “progressive” propaganda—noted that Biden has cemented his legacy that he established the minute he made Kamala Harris America’s first blackish woman to occupy Number One Observatory Circle.
“This is a big fucking deal man, I haven’t been this happy since Barack Obama defeated John McCain in 2008,” noted Dixon, “this a down payment of bigger things to come; the same cash bribes I have been receiving for the past three years will now be the norm for black people throughout America.”
What is being celebrated by the American descendants of slaves is being singled out by the Republican party as a sign of wasteful spending. As African-American Senator Tim Scott noted in objection, paying the victims of four decades of state sponsored terror against black people is an outrageous abrogation of Biden’s fiduciary responsibilities to tax payers.
“It is the height of irresponsibility to shower helicopter money on the poor and marginalized when there are so many billionaires who are worthy of those funds,” stated Senator Scott. “Bill Gates could do a lot more with those monies than a struggling mother in Atlanta or blue collar worker in Gary, Indiana.”
Undeterred by Republican intransigence, Biden made good on his campaign promise to address the issues that matter to a constituency he owes his presidency to. After all, if African-Americans did not turn out in droves in South Carolina to vote for Biden during primary season, he would be a footnote in history instead of the “leader of the free world”. As Biden noted during the signing ceremony, his administration is forever indebted to Jim Clyburn for bamboozling black folks in the Palmetto States into supporting a candidate who once said that young black men are “predators on our streets” who need to be locked up.
Starting April 15th, on a day reserved to remitting payments to the US government, “black” people can look forward to getting some Harriet Tubmans in the mail. There is a caveat however, in order to receive monthly disbursements, African-Americans need to show proof of “vaccination”. Only by getting infected with experimental mRNA “vaccines” can black folks get an injection of cash money, all others will be treated as second-class citizens in what some have foolishly called Jab Crow.
“If you want dolla dolla bills yall, you gotta gets the Fauci Ouchie”, stated Lil’ Wayne, “Biden called me last night and asked me to produce my next single “Feel my Needle” that will encourage ‘black’ and brown people to get vaccinated and I’m excited to be a part of a black genocide to come!”
I caught up with Barack Obama to get his thoughts on this momentous occasion but he was busy getting choked by Richard Branson to speak but responded through text that he is elated over Biden’s decision. Finally, America starts to heal the wounds wrought by generations of marginalization and impoverishment and makes “black” people whole after ignoring their plight for too long. Next, Biden promises to sniff the pains of every “black” girl he can get his grimy hands on.
Voting matters and Biden is living proof of this fact. Starting today, I will no longer criticize Biden, I will rightly acknowledge his contributions to the advancement of colored people on this April fools day. I love ya Biden, but no you cannot babysit my son nor come within a hundred yards of my nieces. Biden signing an EO that gives cash restitution to American descendants of slaves is a moment worthy of Dave Chappell, I'm rich bitches and I have @theDemocrats to thank for the Benjamins coming my way. #BidenGivesaBuckToBlackPeople Click To Tweet
“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.” ~ Jim Elliot
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