Too often in life, we let fear of the future be the compass that keeps us marooned and froze in the present. Paralysis by analysis eventually gives way to acceptance of our circumstances. My father used to tell me all the time when I was growing up that in cemeteries are buried endless unclaimed diamonds before these treasures were uncovered by their owners. The treasures are our gifts and the abilities all of us have; sadly, too many perish before they ever realize the wealth of talent that reside in their minds.
Fear is a mind killer. The minute we let a seed of fear be planted in our psyche, that fear eventually metastasizes to kill happiness and leaves us nothing but remorse and regret. Initially, I was going to write this article about fear within the context of co-dependency that keeps way too many people in bad relationships because they are afraid of a life without the very person that gives them sorrow. Yet, while talking to Biraribo the other day, she noted that co-dependency and fear is really behind every decision we make as we let doubt keep us stuck in place instead of walking out in faith. The more I started to think about what she said, the more it made sense; fear is a constant factor that keeps us mired in misery because we are too afraid to take a chance on what could be.
We stay in jobs we hate because we are afraid to start over again. We remain in loveless marriages because we fear a life without the person who has been constant in our lives. We fear moving because we don’t know what is out there. We fear having kids because we fear we might not be able to provide for them. We fear loving again because we fear getting hurt again. The common denominator of all unhappiness it seems is fear; the same protective walls we build up to protect our hearts become the prison walls that keeps us locked up to a life sentence of ennui.
What we really fear is success. Life teaches to accept the way things are because anything different requires change. So instead of changing ourselves, we fight outwards to change the world. Along the way, charmers and malcontents come along to feed on our hopes take advantage of our weakness. They pretend to give us change when in reality they are advancing their own interest. This is a theme as universal as fear itself; we put our faith in others when we should be putting that faith within ourselves. Unable to move forward on our own, we glom on to those who speak hope into us only to get hurt once again by those who make a living by selling false hopes.
My friend Mike (link) noted that fear is at the root of most of society’s ills. From political decisions to financial choices we keep making, at the root of a lot of our impulsion is fear that pulls us towards darkness instead of making us move towards the light of love that is around us if we only seek it. Mike stated:
“Psychological factors explain the majority of our behaviors, especially political decisions. Whereas so many social ills seem vast and insurmountable, most are unraveled once the string of fear is pulled”
It is easy to move in the direction of anger and hatred for these things are motivated by fear. Fear is an emotion that roils humanity; a source of discontent that stirs up all forms of wickedness from wars to greed and covetous. The world has an abundance for all of us, when we put fear to the side we can have peace on earth. It is fear that makes us hoard the blessings of the world, love could free us from this crippling disease and find serenity by giving to others as we give to ourselves. But life taught us to be about self, hurt made us afraid to give to others so we withhold–once victims, we keep victimizing ourselves.
Instead of marching and protesting all day long–in the process only contributing to the friction and hatred that is searing this world–perhaps the answer is to pause and just look at ourselves. Reflect and heal from within for only when we loosen the spirit of fear within our hearts can we make a difference in the lives of others. The word says “there is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” Before we can love, before we can live life the way it can be for all of us, before we can heal the wounds of this world, first we must cast out the fear that resides in our hearts and let love be the guiding light that pushes us forward. #FearNotBeLove
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” ~ Matthew 6:34
If you appreciate the message behind this write up and want to encourage others to not let fear be their guiding light, share this article on social media using #FearNotBeLove
Check out the Ghion Cast below where I discuss the very issue of fear and love and how we can get over the hurts of the past. Peace and remain blessed always::
Our Deepest Fear is not… a great clip from “Coach Carter”
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
One last video, don’t be a people pleaser, do what pleases the love and God within you instead.
Originally from Ethiopia with roots to Atse Tewodros II, Lij Teodrose is a former community organizer whose writing was incorporated into Barack Obama's South Carolina primary victory speech in 2008. He pivoted away from politics and decided to stand for collective justice after experiencing the reality of the forgotten masses. His writing defies conventional wisdom and challenges readers to look outside the constraints of labels and ideologies that serve to splinter the people. Lij Teodrose uses his pen to give a voice to the voiceless and to speak truth to power.
Latest posts by Lij Teodrose Fikremariam (see all)
- Ethiopia’s Choice: Poverty through Grievance or Prosperity through Unity - September 9, 2019
- Bloody 60s: the Decade that Aborted Leadership in America - August 22, 2019
- A Matter of Life or Death: We Cannot Afford to Ignore Mental Illnesses Any Longer - August 17, 2019