I am writing this article stuck as I am in the ER after admitting myself to the hospital this morning. There is nothing that gives the mind clarity quite like the thought of one’s own mortality. I avoid hospitals like the plague; ever since I witnessed my dad take his last breath at Potomac Hospital in 2001 and visiting my mom on numerous occasions as she clung on to life over the years, I learned to have a mix of fear and loathing for the white walls and blue gowns that remind me of the people I loved the most who were taken away from me before they could see their grandchildren.
So to be stuck on my own in a secluded room, family unable to visit and being poked and prodded with needles brings about horrors which I’ve suppressed over decades with forced smiles and hidden tears. Yet here I am facing this pandemic as I worry about my wife and child; trying to keep up my spirits, I can’t help but think what will happen to them if I am not around. My faith gets tested; I mean is it possible that God took me out of the fires of homelessness, poverty and unrelatable tribulation only for me to succumb to this monstrous disease?
An article I wrote when I was in Colorado, a moment that wrenched my heart and inspired me to write for people who suffer in silence https://t.co/Ov4g6GU6mj
— Teodrose Fikremariam (@TeodroseFikre) May 16, 2018
Yet despite my trepidations, old habits die hard. When the nurses and doctors walk in to check up on me, I revert to my jokes and make them laugh. After spending the past two months warning about the dangers of the Covid-19 experimental “vaccines”, I can’t help but ask them about their intentions. To my dismay, most of them have already taken the jab. I swallow my angst and suppress my dismay; I lie to them and tell them that they did the right thing. I cannot bring myself to ask them why so I just tell them that everything will work out according to God’s will. This is when it hit me; as much as I want to lecture people about not taking the “vaccines”, I must be circumspect about these things.
People are not rushing to get injected because they are sheep or because they are idiots. To the contrary, most are extremely smart and able to think exceedingly well. They are getting jabbed because they are fearful. I see the environment at the ER and it is dreadful; it’s like being in a spaceship far away from home where everything seems alien. This is not normal and in this time of abnormalities people want to return to what they know. And if that means taking an injection of something untested and unknown with the hopes of finding a semblance of the “usual”, so be it. It is easy to judge from a distance and from the comforts of home, but on the frontlines where medical professionals are faced with Sophi’s choice on a daily basis, the decision is not quite as black and white as we think.
Almost every doctor, nurse, technician, EMT and medical personnel I’ve met over the past couple of months have one thing in common, the vast majority have already caught Covid-19. Some were lucky and were asymptomatic, others like the EMT tech Juan who came to my house two days ago, were admitted to the ER and faced a life and death struggle. All have witnessed the gruesome faces of death and the havoc Covid leaves in its path. It’s the reality of having to face this Russian roulette in perpetuity that is driving many to quack medicine, after a year of facing hell’s heat, many have decided to sip muddy waters in hopes of catching a reprieve. I don’t agree with their logic but no longer will I insult people who make decisions borne out of desperation.
Just scheduled my first covid vaccine appointment, I could CRY!!! Been DREAMING about this day since I was shoved in makeshift-hazmat-parking-lot-emergency-room back in April😭😭😭
— Ryan Manuel Koerber (@ryanmkoerber) February 3, 2021
Just when you think you have it all figured out, life comes at you fast and hard like an All-State commercial. A few days ago, I was writing articles from the comforts of my office with music in the background and my son playing by my feet. All the sudden that scene of serenity is replaced with the discomfort of a hospital gurney as I click-clack away with my thumb on my Samsung phone. Pride is a most bedeviling companion; no matter how much I try to wash away my ego, it comes back twice stronger with each sip of knowledge. I offer these words as an apology to everyone I’ve lambasted, especially those who insulted me first. Those of us who think we know better out to do better; this is not a time that calls for umbrage but unending grace towards those whom we disagree with.
Here is to all frontline workers everywhere, you truly are heroes of all heroes. I cannot tell you what to do nor can I fault you for your decisions. Only God knows what will happen next but whatever is around the corner, may God continue to bless you and protect your loved ones. To Mary my head nurse, I will keep you in my prayers. To Doctor Rado, what an awesome name, I’m just glad your name is not Doctor Blue. To everyone in the ER struggling with this cursed virus, may you get well quickly and may you return to health. For everyone else reading this, irrespective of the decisions you make about the “vaccines”, please be safe, take precautions and don’t take unnecessary risks. There are enough troubles in this world as it is, there is no need to turn a pandemic into a political football. Whatever decision you make, I pray for your wellness and your safety. #HealWithoutLimits Click To Tweet
“Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other’s eyes for an instant?” ~ Henry David Thoreau
“COVID RED ALERT” PUBLIC AWARENESS FUNDRAISER
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- Reflecting Martin Luther King and Robert Francis Kennedy: Only Love Can Cure the Mindless Coronavirus of Hate - July 18, 2021