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Grand Old Piety: the Only Thing They Are Conserving is Hypocrisy

In this article, I’m going to hit the conservatives right where it hurts: In their guns. But in a different way from the usual debate over gun control. No, far from that, I’m going to use their own guns to prove a point about providing free universal health care, shorter workweeks, good wages, and guaranteed paid vacations.

Now, you always hear these things from conservatives: “Yes, Europe has free universal health care! They also have shorter work weeks, yes! But that’s because they’re all too lazy to work! Their government coddles them and their system is not efficient as a result! They’re spoiled by a nanny state!” The argument usually revolves around the same thing conservatives say about Americans who get Medicaid and food stamps here: “They’re too lazy to work.” Or, if they do work, “They don’t work hard enough!”

Now, I call my two witnesses: First is, American handgun ownership trends after 1990. Since that year, in the midst of a third Republican presidency, Americans turned from American made handguns in favor of handguns made in Europe. Predominantly, Glocks made in Austria, Italian-made Berettas, and Sig Sauers made by a German-Swiss partnership. American conservatives have been buying European made handguns since the 1990s. Second witness is, most U.S. police departments carry Glocks, Sigs, or Berettas as the service handgun. Therefore, the traditional bastion of American made handguns—the police—do not use American made handguns and have not for decades now. The same police, by the way, the conservatives support in all they do.

Why is this important? Several reasons. First, civilian handgun ownership is influenced by what the conservative gun enthusiasts crow about in the gun magazines. What gives them reasons to crow? Superior quality, reliability, better craftsmanship of the weapon, ergonomics, accuracy, and the overall technological progress in the weapon design. Obviously, Europe has won this hands down. It did this from the beginning when the Glock made its first appearance several decades ago. American gun manufacturers have lost ground to Europe ever since. Truthfully, shoddier quality, poor workmanship, and below average reliability are more associated with American made handguns, which is one reason why police departments stopped carrying them.

And why is all of that important? Let’s go back to the conservative talking point that European workers are lazy and spoiled. If this were true, it would be reflected in the quality of their products. However, the superior quality comes from Europe which has all those social programs. Not just in firearms, but in hand tools, cutting tools, carbide tools, heavy equipment, aircraft, and vehicles. American quality in all of those things has declined as work weeks got longer, medical benefits from employers were reduced or eliminated, wages got lower or stagnated, and paid vacations began to disappear. Look, I’m not making this up. This is the truth and every gun shop handgun display case bears witness.

In truth, what makes for poor quality is a demoralized workforce. A workforce which sees no reward available but the poor gruel of “Well, you have a job so be thankful for that.” Europeans can go to work each morning knowing they have free medical care. An American goes to work in the morning sick because his employer has no paid sick days and he can’t afford to lose the time off. But more than that, he hopes his sickness isn’t serious because he hasn’t got medical insurance and can’t afford to go to the doctor. If this same American is a conservative, and he buys a handguns, more than likely he will buy one from his European fellow workers whose better life is reflected in their craftsmanship and never notice that fact.

If the American workplace is better and smarter, why are there so few American made products of great quality out there? You look for superior quality woodworking tools today, you look to Swedish-made. Gosh, conservatives, if those workers are such spoiled brats, how is it their woodworking tools are world-renowned for superior quality? Obviously, to be assured of superior quality, you need a happy, content, and well cared for workforce. A workforce of downtrodden, abused, and exploited people cannot create even good quality. Not only that, but the avaricious nature of American business does not care if it churns out poor quality. It will just use advertising to sell its shoddy merchandise. That’s how America sells capitalism, after all.

It gets even better. One of the handguns American conservatives like to carry for self-defense because of its rugged reliability and concealability is a pistol known as the Makarov. Guess who designed and made that one? The former Soviet Union and former communist government of Bulgaria! It’s imported and sold here as a type of surplus weapon. There you have the ultimate hypocrisy. American conservatives say communism couldn’t build anything of quality, yet they might be saying that with a Makarov pistol snug in a pancake holster at the small of their backs.

Look, The facts don’t lie. American conservatives overwhelmingly prefer European-made handguns. They buy their weapons from the very countries they ridicule and slander as “socialist nanny states”. But wait! Are these not the same conservatives that boycott products that say things they claim to be “un-American”, or “liberal”? Why do they not then boycott European handguns since they come from those “socialist nanny states”? I’ll tell you why. Because they buy those handguns for self-defense. They’re not willing to stake their lives on an American-made handgun. And that is exactly the point I’d like to make. We cannot continue to stake our lives on the American work ethic of work harder and longer for less and less. Click To Tweet

The answer needs to be NO. No, we don’t want Obamacare. We want free universal health care. No, we won’t work longer and harder. We will stick to the 40 hour week we fought for and you will pay us a good wage. You will deliver what you promised decades and decades ago. Because if you can’t, or you won’t, we see you. You’re a bunch of hypocrites. Oh, you’re not? Then let’s see all of you smash your Glock and Sig Sauer handguns with a sledge hammer like you did with those Keurig coffeemakers to own the liberals. Yeah, I bet you won’t. I rest my case.

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Jack Perry
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Jack Perry

Jack Perry is a writer who lives with his wife in the Sonoran Desert of Arizona. When talking about the ambitions and goals of the United States government, Jack warns: "Always Assume It's A Scam." Jack writes, bakes bread, and is a Path pilgrim and wayfarer of this world.
Jack Perry
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